The 5-Minute Manager - How to use your Body Language

Much of our communication happens through nonverbal cues such as body language, facial expressions, and eye contact.

So, you need to think about these as a form of communication. Your everyday body language is often what determines whether people like you or not, and when someone has made up their mind about you, it’s all but impossible to change; therefore, body language must be made to work for you. Here are some body language tips:

·      When you’re listening to someone. You should be actively listening and paying attention to their body language. You should also be conscious of your own to ensure you’re sending appropriate cues to others.

·      A firm handshake. A firm handshake makes an essential first impression. A firm grip displays confidence and establishes you as someone to be taken seriously.

·      Not meeting someone’s eyes. A failure to look a team member directly in the eyes makes you seem shifty and untrustworthy. But too much eye contact can put some people off. If you want to hold someone’s gaze, look at the point just above their nose between their eyes. To the other person, it appears as if you are looking directly into their eyes, and you can maintain the gaze for as long as you want. (A good negotiation tactic).

·      Fussy hand gestures. Your hands can be used to enhance words. But don’t fuss, as this can make you look nervous, distracted, bored or rude.

·      Crossing your arms. This says you are on the defensive; it’s a sign of disinterest, being closed off and unapproachable.

·      Nodding too much. You can’t be taken seriously if you nod too much. Even when agreeing with what’s being said, nodding can be off-putting. It is, however, a very good active listening cue, but you need to be subtle.

“If you struggle to meet new people or join in the conversation at social gatherings, it might be that your body language is sending the message for others to stay away. Here is how to improve your body language to appear more approachable:

·      Smile. Although it is possible to overdo smiling, generally, it is better to smile versus frown. Try to find things that genuinely make you happy or laugh, and your smile will come across as natural rather than forced.

·      Be accessible. If you are constantly on your phone or buried in a newspaper, people will feel like they are interrupting you. Make sure that you are accessible and open to communication from others.

·      Avoid blocks. Similarly, ensure you aren't using objects to shield yourself from team members. At a party, hold your drink at your side instead of close to your chest. Keeping objects between you and others makes you appear guarded and closed.

·      Keep your head up. It is hard for others to know how to approach you if your head is constantly down; they need to see your face to feel like you want to get to know them. Keep your head level when walking, meeting people, and during social situations.

·      Use eye contact. When you do end up talking with someone, be sure to maintain eye contact. A good rule is about 60% of the time, you should look in the other person's eyes. Avoiding eye contact makes you appear untrustworthy or disinterested. If direct eye contact feels hard, try looking at the spot between their eyes. They won't be able to tell the difference.

·      Avoid nervous habits. Even though you might be nervous, avoid the habits accompanying the feeling. Stop touching your face or playing with your hair. Don't fidget with your pen or the change in your pocket. Keep your hands relaxed at your sides or use them to gesture when making conversation.

·      Mirror, the other person. Use this technique sparingly when appropriate. If you are in conversation with another person, mirror their body language to make them feel more comfortable; make some of the same movements as they do. Don't overdo this strategy, or it will become obvious what you are doing.

·      Nod during conversations. When listening to team members, nod to show that you are paying attention and that you are interested. Doing so reinforces for the team members that you want to be involved in the conversation. One way to take the focus off yourself during a conversation is to plan to share what you've heard with someone else afterwards. This will cause you to stay focused, ask questions, and summarize to ensure you understand.

·       Be Positive. Beyond body language, always be positive. Say nice things about team members instead of mean things. Approach team members and include those who seem to be left out. Be a positive person, and you will attract other positive people to you.” Source: Arlin Cuncic, VeryWell Mind, 2020.

Management and TeamsRussell FutcherHow to use your Body Language