The 5-Minute-Manager - How to use Persuasion

Persuasion is an art, not a science. We all know someone who can get us to do anything, an ability we all crave. Having had a career in Change Management, I have had to, on many occasions, convince people and teams of wholesale and often dramatic changes that need to be made.

Over the years, based on pure experience and trial and error, I have arrived at a set of principles that have always worked well for me and can work well for you. 

As a Change Manager, I had to learn how to persuade people to do things they both did and absolutely did not want to do; these were changes in techniques, behaviours and even the knowledge they used. The strongest influencer I found is a reasoned argument or pitch that is based on facts or experience (your experience is hard to argue with if you have credibility, people will accept what your experience has to say). But I also learned that other factors were also important, like my use of language (not what I said but how I said it, the tone of my voice and the emphasis and pauses I used). I was lucky to have had six years doing talk-back radio, which taught me how to use my voice to great effect and how to use it to persuade and influence listeners.

Mastering effective influencing skills or the art of persuasion increases your self-esteem gained through self-expression, and being persuasive is an important professional skill of high-performance leadership.

To get your manager to have confidence in your ideas and career potential, you need to persuade them. No matter how much you want them to understand your work's depth, knowledge, and expertise, your managers are not studying for a test. By shifting your focus from educating to influencing, you can build the credibility you need to get where you're trying to go.

High-performance leadership activity is the ability to easily persuade people to do things they either don’t want to, have an unreasonable fear of, or think they will fail at. The key to persuasion is motivation when delegating a task to consider, for example, telling the team member that if you were doing the task, this is how you would do it. Below are equally effective different methods to motivate team members and others; consider each and find the method that best suits you, or mix and match from each to form your method.

1.   Use motivation.

·      Telling a team member that if you were doing the task, this is how you would do it.

·      Telling them that you are not interested in the outcome of the task but only that they have a go.

·      Talking about what they’ll lose if they don’t do the task.

·      Drawing on their past actions as examples of their ability to do the task.

·      Telling them that nearly everyone is doing it or soon will be.

·      Asking for a 100 when you only want 10.

· Discuss the counterargument before they do, that is, the pros and cons of doing the task.

2.   Use positivity.

·      Make your words powerful. Your pitch needs to be full of words that elicit a response. You can do this easily by framing your statements around key phrases. For example, "car accident" is a phrase that makes you think of many different types of vehicle collisions. But if you're trying to persuade someone to buy car insurance, you won't say that there are thousands of car accidents daily. Instead, you'll say that there are thousands of car-related deaths daily.

·      Dress up, but don't talk down. Nice clothes go a long way in helping you maintain confidence, even if no one is around to see you. Be careful, though, that being well-dressed can result in you looking better than people who are above you.

·      Focus on the future. Speaking in a future tense establishes confidence best done by using the word will. Phrases like "We will" and "Then we'll do this" will get the team member used to the idea that this will happen.

·      Speak their language. Finishing a team member’s sentence is bad. This is because you're inserting your own "speak" into their independent thoughts. So instead, listen closely to how the person talks and watch how they carry themselves.

·      Be a master of timing. This goes along with getting to know the team member you're pitching to. Study them and find out the best time to talk to them. For example, some busy people are swamped at the beginning of the week and check out mentally on Friday. This means that Thursday may be the best time to approach a team member you need to persuade.

·      Repeat what they say. Prove that you are listening to and acknowledging the thoughts and feelings of the team member you're talking to. You can affirm their stance by simply saying, "If I understand you correctly, you're saying that you find this important because of XY and Z. I understand that and think AB and C."

·      Preferred communication. Study the team member and determine how they prefer to communicate. Simply asking them if they like to talk on the phone instead of email goes a long way, just as long as you give them some options.

·      Individual thinking vs. Group thinking. To quickly identify if someone thinks better individually or in a group, ask: Do you prefer studying alone or in a group? Then ask, how do you like to relax – by reading a book by yourself or meeting friends?

·      Auditory vs. Visual thinking. Does the team member think primarily in words or images? For example, draw them a picture or just explain. Auditory thinkers will tend to use verbs such as hear, listen, and explain. Visual thinkers are likelier to describe a situation using see, look, and watch.

3.   Use Roger Dooley’s adaptation method.

·      Talk about needs they didn't know they had.

·      Share a story.

·      Learn to adapt to their personalities.

·      Establish common ground with your manager and team members

·      Use a personal note.

·      Be upfront with your request.

·      Use guilt to your advantage.

·      Use the right words.

·      Focus on what the manager and team members will gain.

·      Remind them they can always say no.

4.   Use Robert Cialdini's six principles of persuasion.

·      Reciprocity. A common social norm, reciprocity, involves our obligation to return favours done by others. Thus, when I do something for you, you feel compelled to do something for me. 

·      Authority. Something as simple as informing your audience of your credentials before you speak, for example, increases the odds you will persuade the audience.

·      Social proof. Managers and team members are more likely to say yes when they see others doing the same thing - social proof is not all bad.

·      Consistency. If you ask your manager and team members to state their priorities and goals and then align your proposals with that in mind, you make it harder for them to say no.

·      Scarcity. Have you noticed that Amazon tells people there are only a certain number of products left? That's scarcity at play. You want what is in short supply. This desire increases as you anticipate the regret you might have if you miss out by not acting fast enough. So, if you want somebody to want what you have, you must make that object scarce, even if that object is yourself.

5.   Use Dale Carnegie's (the persuasion guru) method.

·      The only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid one.

·      Show respect for the other person's opinions. Never say, "You're wrong."

·      If you are wrong, admit it quickly and emphatically.

·      Begin in a friendly way.

·      Get the other person to say "yes, yes" immediately.

·      Let the other person do a great deal of the talking.

·      Let the other person feel that the idea is his or hers.

·      Try honestly to see things from the other person's point of view.

·      Be sympathetic to the other person's ideas and desires.

·      Appeal to the nobler motives.

·      Dramatize your ideas.

·      Throwdown a challenge.   

6.   Use my seven principles of persuasion.

Over the years, based on experience and trial and error, I arrived at this set of principles that have always worked well for me; here they are:

·      Use clear language. If you can't explain your point of view to a 10-year-old such that they can explain it to another adult, then it's too complicated. The art of persuasion lies in simplifying something down to its core and speaking slowly, constantly pausing every 30 seconds.

·      Base your argument on facts or your experience. Base your argument on facts or your experience; this makes it easy to explain your reasoning for things which is critical.

·      Match the other person’s voice and body language with your own. How they talk (softly, loudly), even their body language, should be matched effectively. If they like to talk with their hands, that means their ideal form of communication is active, so it is helpful for you to do the same.

·      Express your opinion reluctantly and use persuasive words. You want the other person to believe in you. You have all the answers, but how did you get there? Talk about what you used to believe and what you believe in now; by doing this, you control the conversation and convince the other person that this will work for them. Use the five most persuasive words in the English language: You, Because, Free, Instantly, and New.

·      Get your timing right and be persistent. Everyone can be persuaded, given your timing and context is right. Keep selling your message, do not let up. The person who keeps asking for what they want, and keeps demonstrating value, is ultimately the most persuasive.   

·      Pay genuine compliments. Compliment people sincerely and often for things they aren't typically complimented for; it's the easiest thing you can do to persuade others.

·      Be honest and energetic. Sometimes the most effective way to persuade somebody is by telling them the truth about something, especially if others are reluctant. Some people drain our energy, while others increase it. The most persuasive people know how to transfer their energy to others; they know how to motivate. Sometimes all it takes is eye contact, laughter, excitement in verbal responses, or active listening.

Use this shortlist.

The next time you feel you need to persuade a manager or team member or delegate a difficult task, prepare what you are going to say and how you are going to say it by remembering these points:

·      Clear language and speak slowly.

·      Use facts or your experience.

·      Match the other person’s voice.

·      Express your opinion reluctantly.

·      Get your timing right.

·      Pay genuine compliments.

·      Be honest and energetic.

Management and TeamsRussell FutcherHow to use Persuasion